EXAMENSARBETE. Vem är du, vem är jag? En litteraturstudie om preferenser och strategier inom onlinedejting. Marie Bergman Ellinor Hedberg 2015

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1 EXAMENSARBETE Vem är du, vem är jag? En litteraturstudie om preferenser och strategier inom onlinedejting Marie Bergman Ellinor Hedberg 2015 Filosofie magisterexamen Psykologi Luleå tekniska universitet Institutionen för ekonomi, teknik och samhälle

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41 Samband mellan personlighetsfaktorer enligt Big 5 och oärlighet i olika sammanhang.

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54 From: JimJ789 To: Jenny123 Hi Jenny. I am 35 years old and manage a shoe store with 12 employees. I love my job and find that the time goes quickly. When I am not working I read exciting novels and travel. Travel excites me since it allows me to see places and people that I read about. I feel like I have a fantastic life with friends, a good job and wonderful hobbies. I am looking for a woman to share my terrific life. Are you that person? Please tell me more about you. From: FrankXYZ To: Jenny123 Hello Jenny, Well, I am in my mid-30s. I have a 9 to 5 job as a manager at a men s clothing store at the mall. I would say that I am satisfied with my job. After 5:00 I get to spend time doing what I want. Usually I choose to watch movies, most of which I find to be good. I also like to travel. After I go on a vacation I feel very content that I have done something I like. I like my life and enjoy being with my friends. I am looking for someone who would be pleased to join me in my life. Are you that person? Please tell me more about you.

55 From: Mark999 To: SusanP Hi Susan, I have a very good job as a Vice-President of finance for a mid-size pharmaceutical company. It is a 9 to 5 job and it pays well enough to allow me to do all the things that I like to do. At 35, that is important to me. I like to ski, watch sports and go to the movies. I really like anything outdoors. I have a few really good friends and like to spend time with them when we all can work it out. Sometimes, we just hang around but often we go out and get into a pickup basketball game at the park. It s great exercise and I really feel good after I play. Personally, I have been in one long-term relationship but never married. We met in college and stayed together for almost three years. However, when I decided to get an MBA and had to study constantly she got very upset. It affected all parts of our life together. We would argue about everything and quite honestly I didn t like it. She really didn t seem to understand my life goals. It also affected our sex life. She no longer seemed to want to make love and when we did it was not very tender at all. I felt pretty upset as we had planned a future together. So that is me in a nutshell. What about you? From: Robert123 To: SusanP Hi Susan, at the ripe old age of 31 I am the top manager for a very successful business making airplane parts. I love my work. It s fun and challenging and I feel that I get a lot of emotional satisfaction out of it. Sometimes after work I go to the gym and work out. It really helps me feel so much more alive and also helps tone up my body. That s important to me. I also like sports. I am up for most any sport although I prefer basketball and touch football. On the weekend I like to relax, have un and maybe go out to a movie. I really like movies about relationships although I do enjoy a good thriller, too. I am not married and have no children. I did date a woman for two and a half years awhile back but I was very unhappy that we were not emotionally closer. I was simply more positive and more willing to talk about my goals and feelings. She was more closed off. For example, I would tell her that I was lonely and she would change the topic. We were good in the beginning and were affectionate. We would kiss for hours (I am a passionate person). As you may be able to tell, I have no trouble talking about my feelings. Anyway, tell me your deepest darkest secrets. I look forward to hearing from you. From: EdwardGG To: SusanP Hi Susan, I am 32 years old and an attorney. I practice corporate law and really like what I do. It is fun and challenging. Every day brings something new and that makes the days go by quickly. I am tall and slender and exercise regularly. I like movies, particularly those that talk about sports and intrigue. I am happiest when I have enough time to do all the things that I like to do. On the weekends I love to work out and then maybe take in a movie. I have lots of friends and we like hanging out together. I even play a little softball in a local league. All in all, I like where I am in life. I was married once and quite honestly it was a mistake from the beginning. We really had nothing in common and could not make it work. We stayed married for two years but the last year was rather difficult. We did not talk much and mostly stayed out of each other s way. Finally, we realized that we could not make it work and got the divorce. We are not friends but we are not angry at each other. It simply did not work. Other than that, I think that I am a pretty even keel guy. I like what I saw in your profile and would like to talk more. Are you interested?

56 Söker sig till vissa uppfattade likheter medan andra inte har någon betydelse. Ex. torde blåögda ej söka blåögda medan rökare söker sig till andra rökare. Lika livsmål av betydelse. Strategierna går ut på att maximera fördelar och minimera risker, störst fokus ligger på profilen. En ständig konflikt mellan att visa sitt bästa jag och sitt sanna jag. Vissa lögner mer accepterade än andra. Kompensation för avsaknad av ledtrådar. De som hade en långvarig relation som mål var ärligare online, de upplevde dock inte sig själva ha lika stor framgång med dejtingen som de som var mindre självutlämnande. Större ärlighet tycks inte leda till större framgång. Fotot ansågs vara det viktigaste i profilen, särskilt kvinnor ljög i högre grad om sitt utseende jämfört med män. Utseende & socioekonomisk status ansågs som viktigt för båda könen. Deltagarna ville snabbt anordna en träff offline. Onlinedejtare lade större vikt vid kommunikationsstil

57 och fysisk attraktivitet än traditionella, emotionalitet och självutlämnande sågs som positivt till en viss gräns. Män föredrog mindre självutlämnande kvinnor. Fotot hade störst påverkan för helhetsbedömningen, om oattraktivt foto bedömdes helheten densamma oavsett separat bedömning. Utåtriktning och självsäkerhet ansågs attraktivt. Vilseledande beteende förekommer bland båda könen gällande längd, vikt och ålder, samt även gällande profilbilder. Det förekom dock få extrema osanningar. Könsspecifika lögner. Framstår ej som slumpmässigt eller omedvetet. Män och kvinnor söker likheter i vissa avseenden men med specifika könsskillnader. Även universella preferenser framkom såsom hög nivå av attraktivitet. Ovisshetsreduceringsstrategi er används, såsom registerkontroll, Internetsökningar, andrahandsinformation och direkta frågor, men även på ett tanke/känslomässigt plan. Syftet är att finna garanter. Störst påverkan av nivån på oärligheten gav nivån av

58 egenkontroll och otherdirected. Kön var den enda tillförlitliga prediktorn för vikt. Olika egenskaper inom Big 5 påverkar olika områden av oärlighet. Ju mindre attraktiv personen var desto mer oärlig var den angående sitt utseende, kvinnor ljög mer än män. De som hade ett långvarigt förhållande som mål var ärligare. Kompensation för oattraktivitet gjordes i viss utsträckning genom oärlighet kring status. Studien fann korrelation mellan fysisk attraktivitet och attraktivitet i profiltexten trots att de bedömdes separat av olika personer. Internet jämnar inte ut oddsen gällande socialt och utseendemässigt oattraktiva individer. Män ljög mer jämfört med kvinnor när de förväntade sig en dejt, i synnerhet om de förväntades att träffas över mail. Män överdrev sin fysiska attraktivitet samt vänlighet. Studie 14: Contradictor y deceptive behaviour in Chiu, Hsieh, Lo Computers in Human Tror onlinedejtare att attraktiva personer är I 2 experiment bedömdes autenciteten på foton och Vackra foton bedömdes som mindre trovärdiga och även deras tillhörande texter. Deltagare modifierade sina

59 online dating Studie 15: Where Have All the Good Men Gone? Gendered Interactions in Online Dating Behaviour 2011 Cavanagh, Kreager, Yen, Yo Journal of Marriage and Family 2014 oärligare och hur påverkas den egna presentationen? Söker onlinedejtare partners som liknar dem själva i social & utseendemässig åtråvärdhet? texter på en fiktiv dejtingsida, sedan fick deltagarna skriva en egen profil som svar för att få en dejt. Analys av datatrafik från onlinedejtare. egna profiler till det bättre för att möta upp attraktiva personer men även tvärtom, även om detta troligen inte är en tillämpad strategi. Majoriteten kontaktade i första hand de med högt skattad attraktivitet oavsett egen nivå av attraktivitet. Inget stöd för matchningshypotesen. Tycks följa traditionell konvention, att män förväntas ta initiativ till kontakt.